Our Dogs Arse    :    NOT FOR PLEBS

THE WOM PAGE

If No News Is Good News,
How Is It They Keep Manufacturing It ?

Joined–Up Government  =  Joined–Up Responsibility

ODA  :  Illustrating The Continuity of Crap

ODA  :  Distinguishing between The Stick and The Beater

ODA  :  Espousing wot you’re thinking
                                  /
             We think you should be thinking !

So, ODA,  A Rant Sheet of Taste  :  Good/Bad ?
Now,  that is a Q !

Just give it a sniff and enjoy our organ !

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A Dedication:
To  ‘The days before the world went lax and sour’
Big Jim & The Figaro Club

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

ODA Xmas Message 2013

(H&S:  DO NOT accept inferior imitations from
Windsor, Canterbury, Jerusalem, Rome, Antioch + The American Colonies)

So:
As the end of this current 365  TIME  cycle of continuing bleak damp draws to its
inglorious stuttering close particular in yet another gloomy ersatz Crimbo
and pretend New Year of Good Will
whilst The Hon Guild of Media Tarts hold yet another of their interminable self-congratulatory
ceremonial awards proceedings for election of  Wanchorman of The Year
thus masking-out yet another tacky 12 months past of acute fiscal constraint
caused by withdrawal of Government spend on things nonsense and ethereal
(like housing and transport and power generation + infrastructure general and poo like that)
as they,  our glorious Whitehall Masters of Bullshit,
facilitated by the silent rancid rump of supporting apparatchik fellow travellers
riding its hidden symbiotic parasitic life out in the background to early
well-cushioned retirement,
continue their high spend support usual to the vulturine asset strippers various
and the above said waffling bullshitters assorted of controlled media
in their continual soporiferous subduing of the masses
in masking their victims considerations real by the imposition of distorted of perspective
only occasionally interspersed with engendered  HOPE,
all effected by interrupting the unrelenting streamed drivel of universal blagging of
raised view of ‘shock-horror’ to  CRISES  proper in far away places no UK native
could give a poo about,
but little to the  FUTILITY  above at home in UK
at present manifesting itself publique in the massed food-banks of  DEGRADATION,
all off-set by the odd  ‘lost and recovered rabbit story’  (ahhhhhh – etc)
+
For good luck,  should any of the low-life not yet be finally disestablished of whatever
they have left of the limited powers of discernment they might have been issued with
and their nervous systems not yet shattered to point of jabbering delirious surrender:
‘News’ that the whirling ball of spaceship-earth is yet again predicted to be clouted by
YET ANOTHER large lump of errant space-rock of  DOOM
(or not,  depending on whose calcs you look at)

I once again notice it’s very nearly the end of my work norm
and I appear to have run out of Time and Label-Space and Interest and Tea,
(and I need a wee),
so

🙂    Av An Appy Won    🙂

AND,
LET  DESTINY  TAKE CARE OF ITSELF.

[ With remembrances usual to Lyttleton H. for his inspiration ]

And don’t forget to give   ourdogsarse.org   a sniff
* * *  SNIFF OFTEN.    BREATH FREELY.  * * *

+ + + + + +

DAILY POSTS:
Daily Blog Service proper suspended temporarily
due to continuing health reasons

but for  ODA 2013  Crimbo Xmas Message  as/above

+ + + + + +

NOTICE
ref  YET ANOTHER CHANGE of LAYOUT FORMAT PROTOCOL:
The last of the postings of the dailies here @ THE WOM PAGE woz today.

WE’VE NOW PUT THE USUAL DAILIES TO:
1:  THE !FREE! DAILY POST ‘BLOGS’ TO SUBSCRIBERS E-MAIL BOXES
+
TO THEIR RESPECTIVE PAGES ON SITE
(ie To archives of the year to date)
2:  THE DAILY ASSPECT
3:  THE DAILY ENLIGHTENMENT

PM Monday  16-September-2013.

Further:
We still propose to re-start
‘The Weekly Look-Back‘
as/ when  OLD :  gets health back to full.
(All together  :  Ahhhhhh etc)

+ + +

Before you go forward in your voyage of exploration into our organ, pause here dear reader and take food for thought  . . . ……
Since you last received enlightenment, yet another day has now gone in your inexorable progress towards death and oblivion, but, hopefully, final peace.
On the -ve side it doesn’t look as though Stockport County will change its habits this season.
😐

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ref  2013  :  WEEK 31:

a little standing notice ’till  31-July-2014:

At  Thursday  01-August-2013:

! We are  2  TODAY !  :  ah ahh ahhh  etc

&

The Rev Lucy Winkett

(sic – We really would like to see that !)

gives best/boldest hint yet about alien influence and revelations imminent …

ref  BBC Tannoy 4  ‘Thought For The Day‘  piece regular of today  :  08.50hrs BST

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SO, NOW BACK TO
THE PRIMARY PURPOSE OF THIS PAGE:

An intro to the content general

A description of ethos and style

Pronouncement of purpose

As Regards Overviews of Our Esteamed Organ
(Ta for that one Eye)
We give you the Comments from The Pit    :    The Critics write:

‘Ah,  you see,  perspective is everything’.
Necher,  Escher,  Christopher Wren,  Vitruvius + Old Romans various  +  Old Greeks various  +  A quite a few Others.

Piss-off the pretentious and get a proper job.
(Your esteamed Editor in Chief   Old :  writes)
(NOT for the last time)

Non, je ne regrette rien ?
One look and I legged it.
PIAT E.    (no relation)

So, to get the ball rolling   . . . ……………………

Oportet Operam Dore  /  Visa per invisa firma

Oh deary deary me    .  .  . . . . . ……………………………………………………………………….

Je ne suis pas comme tous les autres songe-creux.
Je ne confidis pas le desanchantement avec la verite

So,  with that out of the way for the mo’,  to start the ball a-rolling:

Just one of the Founding Maxims of ODA:

An observation which has been expressed by so many in many different ways,  at many times, and in many situations:

‘For every effect,  there will be some bugger somewhere who’s caused it’

(1st Law of Poo-o Dynamics ?    Any chance of quick Nobel ?   Old :)

+

One we really should have entered-up earlier:

‘History repeats itself because we never learn from the previous’

CONTINUED BELOW  ‘THE HEAD NOTES & ANNOUNCEMENTS’

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THE NEARLY HEAD OF PAGE NOTES 

& 

GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENTS BIT

!  STOP PRESS  !

HMG‘s* LITTLE LEXICON

THE DUBIOUS, USUALLY QUASI LEGALESE, OF APPARATCHIK EMISSION:
FASHIONABLE TRIGGER-WORDS & FUZZY PHRASES
& IFFY EUPHEMISMS:
THE TOP TWENTY

( *NB.  +  Other Spivs Various ! )

Is being assembled  -WIP-  Now rocking and rolling nearly up to full list  !

SEE THE LIST AT BASE OF THIS PAGE

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

An ODA Public Safety Campaign:
SEE BASE OF DAILY ASSPECT PAGE FOR
A NOW STANDING H&S NOTICE OF WARNING
FOR ALL UK DRIVERS AND PASSENGERS

An illustration local to us of effects of the message of that notice is below:

PM Saturday  12-January-2013.

Last nights relatively light snow in NW England
almost shut the motorway traffic flow down in the region.

Known affected:
M6  :
The busiest area of that motorway in the NW  :  ~Junctions 26-29 area :
Completely shut in both directions.
M62:
Area around Junction 22  and to east of
(ie  Adjacent highest point on the UK motorway network):
Part closed  (lanes part closed – some traffic flow)
M61:
Part closed  (lanes part closed – some traffic flow)
M66:
Part closed   (lanes part closed – some traffic flow)

Update:
Our Little Bird still within wot is left tells us:
The esteamed powers that be who have the contract at present to maintain this area of
The UK Motorway Network
are now re-recruiting Ops they sacked in the name of efficiency at around the start of the year ! ! ! ! ! !
Monday  11-March-2013.

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THE BOT SHOP IS CLOSED FOR REFURBISHMENT

A REVISED RANGE OF UP TO THE MILLENNIUM THINGYS WILL NOW BE COMING FORWARD  . . . ……    SOMETIME (!)

WE HOPE TO DELIGHT YOUR SARTORIAL THINGIES THEN.

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YE PRONOUNCE OF  SITE INTENTIONS / CLARIFICATIONS OF STYLE bit:

Wot’s it all about ?:

ODA is a  Rant-Sheet  on  Political Process  as is found to be done.
+
Universally Observed Idiosyncrasies Other General.
/
A Light Hearted Romp Through All Realities
/
A Tilt At Totalitarianism

That’s enough to be going on with
(No great Grand Plan really.    All we really do is just pop-off at the targets when they show)

By type,    Project ODA + The ODA Site  is,  like so many others of flavours various,
a vehicle for carrying opinions.
a vehicle of research
a vehicle of publication of findings.

It is not,  unlike so many others of favours various,
a vehicle for coalescing people into a group / club / movement.
That said, inevitably we will have a social side eventually.
After all,  if MI5&3/16  have to have something to infiltrate in order to justify their position,
AND IF they will settle the bar bill, pay for a curry and a taxi home for everyone on their ex’s,
then it would be rude not to invite them to the piss-ups would it not ?

Main Focus:
UK,  as we’re UK based,  but other débâcles considered from time to time.

Secondary Focus:
Mancton and Gtr Mancshire,  as we’re Manc based,  but other débâcles considered from time to time.

Further:
Those buggers from Calais  (Bonjour if you’re enjoining !)  and onwards
into the great beyond,
beyond.

Akademik Form Basis/ Slant:
A la  The Lobster    (As/ when we can manage it !)

Main Style:
Satirical.
UK ‘school’
In a spectrum a la Private Eye<->Viz

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YE DISCLAIMERS bit:

NB.  1:  If you came across ODA when doing a porn search
! HARD  LUCK !
.1 :  We haven’t got any !
.2 :  It’s not to our ethos !
.3 :  Apart from anything else,  the last thing ye www. needs is more !
.4 :  If you were conducting a search and had no prior knowledge of us,
you must be seriously bent to have entered search details like that !
!  GO AND GET TREATMENT NOW  !

NB.  2:  Strong Language & Controversial Views Within.
Some People Might Find Them Offensive.

The easy way to deal with it  –  GO AWAY.

NB.  3:  Political Party Affiliations:
Haven’t got any:
Left / Right / Reversed / Upside Down / Inside-Out / Other Dimensional
/ Divide and Rule (By The First Number You Thought Of)
AND
Any other orientation you can think of.
If you’re a recruiter for any:
Please don’t offer.
You are and will be,  all treated as all the others,  with acid eye,
and without prejudice of preference
other than
a  BIG  🙂    towards those:
.1:  Advocating frequent and regular referenda on matters major.*
(Whoever you might be this week)
.2:  Advocating contractual framework of penalty to those posting Manifesto particular
Penalty to Match Outcome (when in power)

Above said – Their Say:
We’re contemplating offering open page for any of any party proper to do piece of own without editorial constraint from us other than right to refuse copy.
(eg  Bang-Sticks-4-All Advocates etc  –  DON’T bother)

*And that does include the current UK front runner  :  Mr UKIP.
Rationale:
We like how you’re saying things, and we like how you’re acting, including your perceived perfect probity,
to date,
but, But, BUT   . . . ………………
You’ve yet to carry-through your pronouncements of manifesto to government enactment.
Should you do so and not fall by the way-side,  expect BIGGER SMILIES from us  –  THEN.

So, UKIP,  you’re leading the field at the mo’,  so take note !
We’ll throw in a free ODA T-Shirt,  Mr F’s size,  if you do manage it,
!  IF YOU ONLY GET IT TO THE REFERENDUM STAGE  !

NB.  4:  General Structure:

It’s mostly lots of them *funny word thingy’s
strung together to make coherent statements and arguments;  hopefully !
*Hopefully, some of them moderately amusing !

ie 1  : ODA is Word Not Picture Based.
Even though we’ve got pictures and they’re pretty – obviously.
(Wouldn’t climb over either of those two to get to you, but don’t tell Mrs Ed.    Ed.)
Ergo:  ODA isn’t really suitable for people who don’t know the meaning of ergo.

ie 2 : Not for Daily Mail readers or pyjama wearing habitual / terminal worriers other.

ie 3 : *Not really for those who  ‘only like only to explore the visual’  (aka farty pretenders).
Although,  in order to add colour further:
Further Cartoons hopefully coming soon  (Ta PAUL)
+
Videos : Our Own coming sometime (if we are spared)
+
Animation : With more hope then expectation !
(Now there’s pie in the sky – Have you ever tried dealing with those buggers ?!
See our Jobs Page !)
*Haven’t we covered all this with ie 1 ?   Ed.

If you drop into one/ more of the above slots of potential aggrieved reader:
The easy way out of it : GO AWAY NOW.
After all,  97% / >  of you have got a one-eyed babysitter to watch  –  ad nauseum  . . . ……

ie  HELP MAKE & KEEP ODA A PRINCESS-FREE ZONE
[ But for HRH Anne,  obviously;  She’s welcome anywhere ]

NB.  5:  With ref to the words in the text of the pieces contained herein:
(try saying that without your best teeth in)
Where Said To Be Stating Facts:
Are believed to be truthful within the context of the piece particular.
Where Expressing Opinion:
Are doing just that.
ie  For an example of exception – Where humour without bounds is obviously the intent –
Try  ‘Textual Relations’  for one such example page of such,
and then, when reading, take a large pinch of NaCl to go with it.

Endings to This + Humble Requests:
Put other and with finger wagging:
Please don’t dump  unconsidered/ off centre/ unbalanced interpretations + comment  on that within.
It’s the writ equivalent of verballing,  albeit without the attendant blackguarding usual.
It  grates on the credulous and clogs us brain cells.  😐

If we really wanted to be subject to such we would at one time followed usual practice and talked to the police.  They appear, from all reports current to have cleaned-up their act in this dept to great extent.
These days,  ATOS  is leading the field in such practices, and from all reports,  is by far and away,  way out in front.
If you’re unfortunate enough to get spassed-up for any reason,  you’ll get  ‘the treatment’  for free.    😐

> A (proper) Doctor writes:  ‘Just about the only thing you will get free these days.’ <                   🙁    🙁    🙁    🙁    🙁    🙁

NB.  6:  With ref to Progress of Purpose:
Now into Project Year III : that at 01-August-2013.
We’re still,  mainly due to illness,
remaining at the first stage of the traditional
Description, Prescription and Proscription  Stages
any respectable Rant-Sheet goes through.
Please ‘Stay With The Programme’ as the colonials west would express it
Interesting things to come.

Your Haupt Editor  Old :

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! SO, HELLO !
The World / The Galaxy / The Universe / Other Universes incl Stalybridge,
even Mosley and beyond   .  .  . . . …………………………

AGAIN

So,

We entered the last calendar year,  2012,  with wot turned out to be
the most accurate of predictive passims:

‘The year of MANY  CIRCUSES  but little  BREAD’

So, to 2013:

Let’s see if our crystal ball can give us the same deep perspective and the same result,
(oower,  buzzzzz,  whirring sounds,  grinding cogs,  rusty chain dragging etc,  oweer again,  
and not forgetting to throw in a little of the smoke and mirrors of our subject   –   etc + oweer )
.    .    .  .  .  . . . …………………………………………………………………………..    to  2013:

In short,  our predictive salute to 2013 and the future contained therein:

2013  –  The Year of Economic False-Starts
WITH
the occasional sporadic isolated success by the airy-fairy economy of the low-level people who make things and provide essential services
ESPECIALLY
the most sparse instances of success of those North of Watford
AND
much  Beer-Vouchers  to be made by the proper economy of Those Who Deal
BY
getting ‘your’ money in&out at the right time of what will be very fast rising and falling fiscal markets
IF
that is,  you indeed are of such class of being
AND
you’ve now got anything left from your statistically probable fall from grace to bet with
ie.  IF
you’ve got any idea of how to do the doing
WITHOUT
being ripped-off by the market professionals who hover like vultures around a water-hole
oh,  AND
not forgetting,
THE EVER RISING FOOD & FUEL PRICES

STILL,
we have a Royal Baby to come so everything will turn out ALL RIGHT won’t it ?

So to  ODA’s Message for 2013:

Keep Calm & Don’t Bother.

+

We once again start the year on the same bright note of last by informing you of the wisdom of
Alistair Jolly.
ABV (8.9%). GBH. GCSE. F350. Linux Wizard.  25 Yds Junior Breast Stroke Champ.
Tenderfoot Badge.  Grade IV Foxtrot & Vienna Waltz.
Nobel-Bates Prize for blowing things up.
Cracker-Jack Pencil  (but Jim never fixed anything into him)
(Aesthete,  Guru / Sage,  Urbane Urban Kitchen Wizard and Barester,
Raconteur,  Life Coach,  Mitsubishi Delica Owner-Driver,
Ferret Keeper,  Chicken Fancier
and,
General All-Round Good Egg)
For a happy life:
1 :  🙁    Get rid of the things that give you pain and displeasure:    🙁    –>
2 :  🙂    <–  Consume plenty of beer, fresh whores and custard:     🙂

So to the  End of Year Report  considerations of ODA:
It’s kicked-off
It’s happened

You could say:
It’s still gerrin’ sorted
It’s still coming but it’s almost got there,

but
At the end of  2012  we feel we have established the framework for at least the first phase of  The Good Ship Project ODA.
Again,  please retain your interest.

The site basic setting-out is about done and from that now past stumbling  August 2011  start the establishment  (if you’ll excuse the expression that is )  framework remains a little incomplete in parts but overall is ~fit for purpose for this phase / ‘stage  of the game’,
So Ned,    . . . …………   We’re now off (it) proper  . . . ……

Phase II to come hopefully by end of 2013.

ie    <TBC.>

PM Monday  31-December-2012.
Old :

So to repeat the definition of Phase I   ( of  x? many – See base of page)

It is:
‘The Saying of Wot Is’
aka  Defining the scope of concern
aka  Setting-out the stall
aka  . . … Sod-It – If you don’t get the hang of it by now  –DO ONE–  Bye-bye.

Should you be of mind to enjoin:

Read The Assortment of Articles & Gen O&S to Date, and Enjoy (hopefully)
Should You Agree or Disagree:
Then comment accordingly
That said – Foot STILL in gob at moment  (situation normal) –
We’re not yet ready to take reader input
See notes various as/ below  +  The Parish Notices page for our intentions soon

STOP PRESS
COMING SOON SOMETIME (!) : TAB RESPONSE FACILITY TO ALL ON ODA SITE
ie.  Your chance to comment.

From that:
Should You Agree To A large Extent:
Then Enjoin
(More on that as we roll-out)
+                                                                                                        +                                                                                                                                                          Take Note and Act on Our Tasteful Marketing Promotion:
! BUY ODA T-SHIRTS WHEN THE SHOP REOPENS YOU BASTARDS !

Your Caring Editor in Chief
Old :

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H&S
‘He who refuses to be involved in politics must endure being ruled by plebs’
Plato.
‘It is dangerous to right in matters in which the established authorities are wrong’
Voltaire.
So, dear reader, read on at your peril    . . . ……………………………………………….

ODA  :  THE OPENING RANTS:
A PHILOSOPHICAL BASIS
[In no particular order (!)]:

‘There are only two problems in the world:
Disorganisation and Organisation’

The extreme dichotomy of the perspective used:
Individual Narcissism  v  Group Psychosis
Base Analysis Queries of Judgement:
Does The State exist to:
Displace another which would ‘fill the hole’ if that one particular wasn’t there ?
Serve itself to the helpings available from the table produced by the taxpayers ?
Serve its Architects ?
Serve its Operatives ?
Serve those who fund it – The Taxpayers ?

Most if not all groups / ‘societies’ of history have eventually tended to and could therefore be said to have attained naturally, hegemony.*
It is said commonly it is the natural order of arrangement of human arrangement.
(Quite first by whom, we can’t remember, but some clever bugger will no doubt put us right on it eventually)

If historically,  successive governments/ states elect and their assorted agents various,
have gone-off manifesto to pursue their own agenda proper,
why is the system tolerated to perpetuate such with the full knowledge that
the next government elected will, in ALL probability,  do exactly the same ?

Have we done Switzerland yet ?
Ed.

* Hegemony:                                                                                                                                            The practice of interspersing obscure posh words in text so the reader has to find their dictionary.

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  A POLITE ENQUIRY of POINT:
AND YEA, IF, ‘NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS’,
WHY DO THE BASTARDS KEEP MANUFACTURING IT ?

*****************************************************************************

ODA  :  A DEFINITION – AIMS & OBJECTIVES I:
An investigative sweep and probe into the effects of
UK (particularly) + Others successive governments,
on their countries inhabitants particular
and the world at large beyond countries singular.
+
General pieces on the same.
The proving of what is held by ODA to be a ‘natural’ tendency for governments to gravitate towards totalitarianism,
and go ‘hell for leather’ for it when/ where they think they can attain it.
We in UK are dealing with/ suffering from the aftermath of The Last Gt Architect imposed:
Tony Blair and his ‘Joined-Up Government’ edicts.
(Only the front-man really, as/ usual, but he’ll just have to take all the credit for now)

In foreign climes, at present, others are dealing with their tyrants in their own way;
the aftermath of which we fear will be merely to replace one tyrant with another
– a musical chairs exercise-  CIA orchestrated.
Motto:
Whoever doles out the most and best bang-sticks, rude ladies, dubious substances,
free passage passports and letters of intro etc,
franchises over all fields
and
good old fashioned plain free beer-vouchers
(conduit via  plain currency, precious metals&stones, bearer bonds, share options, ‘consulatncies’ etc etc etc),
+
Throws up the best smoke&mirrors – WINS.

GB governments, have for near some 400 years, for the most part  (but for the odd Peterloo and miners strike etc)
managed to avoid the use of the applied psychology of arms against the population at large,
(minor internal persistent discomforts to those gvts, not successfully bullshitted away by their agents, still dealt with same courtesy of murky inner depts + sub-contractors various),
preferring  suppression and ordering by kidology proper as that leaves the donkey(s) particular
treading the unending mill of taxation whilst looking upwards through its own glass ceiling at the carrot on the stick,  without need of replacement,  and most importantly,
doesn’t ripple the other donkeys adjacent, they continuing to do their treading same.
Indeed, a successfully conned donkey will go on to spread the word to its fellows.
From time immoral (sic), the preferred tool of the imposition of ideas was religious organisation,
however with the development of the mass emission machines of  ‘The Media’  with their attendant soporific qualities,
‘The Church’  has been largely sidelined* and the issue of ‘truth’ put through newspapers and broadcast tools.
All now has really brought all to a fine art** and it is thought by ODA that the ‘art’ is such developed
that there is a high probability that ye tinterweb will be ‘brought to heel’  (one way/ t’other)  shortly.

* ref  ‘Ye Church’ :
For any government an independent church essentially presents x2 probs:

1 : Their mind-control abilities# (greater/ lesser), can always be turned on ye said government –
Counter measures therefore needed.  🙁
On the other hand & oh well – Another government organisation/ dept needed
(aka ‘Business as Usual’).  🙂

2 : They, The Church(es), generally propound, and do do, works of genuine charity.  🙂
That charity is a 2 edged sword for any of ye governments.  🙁
After all if they, The Governments,  wish to show to their subjects their most benevolent aspects ,
they instinctively want to be the only/ most benevolent,  (and build the biggest internal empires possible).
Oh deary, deary me  😐

** ref  ‘Art’  :  ODA holds that  ‘The Modern Art Proper’  IS                                                                                                                                                                           The production+publication of essentially crude, simply made artefacts
+  the ‘SELLING’ to the recipient.
ie  The   ‘Art’ is for the  ‘artist’ and his commissioners,  is the sale / the con.

Remove the physical artefact from the ‘picture’ ( sorry about that one 🙂 )
and substitute ‘idea’ and you have ‘art’ in its most developed form.

For a prime illustration of practitioners we proffer The Saatchi Bros*.

*ODA Equal Opportunities Policy :  Others same & similar are available – Ad Nauseum.
Open your eyes generally and see Eye also.

We digress from pronouncement of intention:
From the above roll-out, searches, discussions and hopefully conclusions,
we hope to get to stage of publication of the findings.
There certainly will be further resulting philosophical rants.

To finish this bit of the rant off,  we are reminded:

‘Those who can make you believe absurdities,
can make you commit atrocities’.
Voltaire.

! BIG TA + BIG X
for the reminder Red Molotov  (Purveyors of bloody good T-Shirts ! )

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ODA  :  THE STYLE:
A subtle and tasteful blend of
Punch / Private Eye / Lobster / The Oldie / The Chap / The Idler   +    VIZ,  B3ta  &  Southpark
! H&S Warning !
So, if you are a Daily Mail reader, GO AWAY NOW and have a nice cup of cocoa & soma,
put your pyjamas on and go for a nice lie down.
The effects of what you’ve experienced so far will wear-off gradually
and no permanent good will have been done.
(Read your Bettawear Catalogue if you feel a little uneasy at any time)
After 48 hours bed rest you will then be perfectly fit to resume
getting the shits-up about anything and everything the D-M programmes you with.

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  ANOTHER DEFINITION + FOUNDATION STANCE & OBJECTIVE:
TOUGH ON POO
TOUGH ON THE SOURCES OF POO.

AN EXPLORATION & EXPOSE OF THE EXCESSES OF APPARATCHIKDOM

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  YET ANOTHER DEFINITION or FEW:
A light hearted view of poo; the sources of, the outlets of emission, the effects
PLUS
A heavy hearted view of those who have been affected.
A listing of how, where, when and what’s been dropped on them and the emission outlet(s) particular.

ODA  :  A html expression of the horizontal desire.

In Short Summary:
A generally light-hearted romp through the litter of those who emit from on high.

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  1or3 OTHER POINTS PERTINENT:
JUST PUT IN HERE AS WE CAN’T FIND ANY WHERE TO FILE IT PROPER YET:
Generally accepted (by at least a bloody lot):
1 : So called democracies are out of any control from the population at large
(aka Their subjects and underlings)
as the parliaments just gravitate to a club for a ruling elite / its puppets.

2 : UK schools have,  for a large part v/v previous practice,
[ ie Historical – No apols for that one  🙂 ]
abandoned any attempt to teach HISTORY as a subject proper.
History does illustrate one thing beyond all others – PATTERNS.
ie The repetitive behaviour of players in any situation same/ similar comes out to the fore.

3 : UK schools have,  for a large part v/v previous practice,
abandoned any attempt to teach ENGLISH LANGUAGE as subject proper.

English proper does illustrate one thing beyond all others – MEANING.
ie The sentiment of the publisher (whether by mouth or writ)  can,  for any situation,
be described in words which convey exactly the what is meant by those* who have full command of the language.

An eg in a  short English grammar lesson.
The correct use of punctuation and the attachment of capitals to letters of importance in scripts is deteriorating.
This we attach not only to the current vogue for ‘Text Speak’,  (or should that be ‘textspeek’ ?),
but the lack of general school rigour.

In order to understand the importance of attending to such,  in this age of the slurring of protocol,
we offer the following salutary lesson of illustration:
Correct use of capitals and punctuation is the difference between:
Helping your Uncle Jack off a horse,
and

As regards the punctuation of machine written text for general screen display especially
(eg  as/ this particular )
the modern practice that can now almost be said to be universal and a recognised protocol of the omission of commas and full stops
and liberal use of lineage spacing  is by us generally not used as a practice alone and substitute for punctuation
even though the spacing of text by such can compensate by bringing a finished piece to greater clarity / easier on the eye
by omitting text clutter
If you’re reading this on a hand-held portable small screen  bet you wish we’d used punctuation !

Have we done Switzerland yet ?
Ed.

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  A GEOGRAPHIC ANCHOR:
A Manc* ,(aka Barmia-on-Irwell),  England  UK   based view on that which is Universally experienced.
*Mancton,  a paradise of fair unchanging weather,  delicate cuisine,  sweet minded populace
and centre of intellectual excellence,
geographically and intellectually bounded by:
To The North:  Bolton / Bury / Rochdale [ Eskimos past here ]
To The South:  Leek [ Southern pufters past here ]
To The East:  Stalybridge [ Mosley + Dragons past here ]
To The West:  Runcorn / Widnes / St Helens / Warrington / Wigan [ Scousers past here ]

[ * The Nappy Bucket of Civilisation ]
[ * ‘Manchester – Living proof of the Gaia Theory’    Lovelock J. (pissed) 1976
Further:  ‘After all every living organism has to have a point of exhaust’ ]

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  THE LANGUAGES RECOGNISED:
Queens Plain English  (PRIME)
Diplomatique Frog    (kleiner bitter anyway)
Latin    [ Well, bits&pieces anyway – ’till we get out of our depth and get found out  🙁 ]
Macc
Our Native Dulcid Tongue :
‘When heard, ’tis like an Angel gently tap-dancing over your eardrums’
Shakespeare W. (no relation)
PLUS
The odd bit of:
Jock + Paddy + Taff + Yessir + Std Frog + Platt Deutsch (ja wohl)

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  THE LANGUAGES NOT RECOGNISED:
1 : KAFKA-ISH
incl
ALL IT’S MODERN DAY MANIFESTATIONS SPOKEN
AND TO BE FOUND IN:
GTR APPARATCHIKSHIRE,
MEDIA LUVVYDOM,
AND
DIVERSE PITS OF SELF SERVING POO OTHER.

2 : GPGP* SPEAK:
Are yer goin ter THE MATCH ?
Wot der think THE MATCH’ll be like ?
Did yer go ter THE MATCH ?
Did yer go ter THE MATCH ?
Wot did yer think of THE MATCH ?
etc etc etc.
If you recognise anything of the above in yourself –
You’re most probably* an unredeemable group psychotic beyond repair
Save yourself time – Go away to your world
There’s nowt here that you’ll be able to understand anyway.
*Exceptions:
The man who says:
a) Keep yer nose out or I’ll squash it; I know it’s farce but:
b) Oh well, any excuse for a fight.
c) It’s me living yer sod, and if the punters are daft enough to tip-up, then I’ll take their money.
d) It’s me hobby, I enjoy watching it, I’m not spending your money, and I ain’t harming you/ anyone else.
e) It’s me escapism,
(anything to get away from reality + the wife etc).
f) It’s me academic research (How many of them one wonders   . . . ……)
*No Exceptions:
The man that says:
‘WE won/lost/were robbed’ etc etc etc and etc etc ad nauseum
You son, are lost forever.
(See below for more of the same)
ie You’re a fully programmed *General Purpose Group Psychotic*
without hope and forever destined to be manipulated by HM & The Boys.
See below for further enlightenment immediate
PLUS
‘Annals of The Ways & Means Committees’    Page  (To be started shortly)

A UNIVERSAL CONSOLATION PRIME:
With all gangs:
A least we know where they all are.

A UNIVERSAL PROBLEM PRIME:
With all gangs:
Who really is running it ?

UK KNOWN  (ie ??????)  GRAND ORDER OF SERVICE:
Jimmy God  (supposed – flavours various – take your pick)
Aliens (various)
The Yids of Top Table Beer-Voucher Manipulation
The Beer Voucher Manipulators Macro
The Botty Kissers (firms and levels various)
< Slipperies : Prime Moving Manipulators Servants pulling the strings of the below immediate
(MI5 7/8 etc)
Front Page Public Acts Various
(Royals / CofE / Political Parties etc)
(MI5 3/4 : Their attendant minders and manipulators)
< Slipperies : Prime Moving Manipulators Servants pulling the strings of the below immediate
(MI5 5/8 etc)
Executive ACTUAL to the above (Parliamentary Houses / Legals / Beer Voucher Manipulators
(Second Line)
< Slipperies : Prime Moving Manipulators Servants pulling the strings of the below immediate
(MI5 1/2 etc)
Executive Public to Control The Proles (Armed Forces / Plods / Local Government etc)
< Slipperies : Prime Moving Manipulators Servants pulling the strings of the below immediate
(MI5 3/8 etc)
The Beer Voucher Manipulators Micro  –  Your friendly local bank etc
Stalewarts of The Free Press to keep The Proles occupied  (Mr Murdoch etc)

We could go on down, and on, and so ad infinitum,
and there would still be some poor very little flea having his back bitten,
and yes, it is debatable as to which should be included in the lot above,
and in what order in the great queue to crap on The Proles
as there is a deal of bedroom swapping and cross-dressing amongst them,
but the above is thought as good a working model as is needed for the present.

Have we done Switzerland yet ?
Ed.

****************************************************************************

AN INTERIM PIECE:
HOW WE ARE
(Eat your heart out Gielgud, Larry Dahling etc)

Pt I : The Proles*
The Poor Things Are Flawed (or they wouldn’t be pr….  –  etc) **:
1 : They need for their structured stable view of their world, two polar opposite characters:
A Hero  (Someone to admire and look up to – An arse to kiss)
A Villain  (The Enemy, usually one to which their Hero is opposed – Someone to crap on)
Ergo  :  Give them those and you have them under control and focused on whatever you want.
To attain such you need to appeal to their senses and sell the above polar positions of the day to them.
Hence spivology in all its diverse forms is highly prized by The Manipulators.
A spivs spiv,  for our current age,  is beyond doubt,    The Very Rev&Dear,  Tony B.
Oh Tony, you who did set such a high standard,  can not you return,  coffee mug in hand, and regale   (aka bullshit)  us further ?
We the undoubting admirers of your esteamed persona do starve with the current crop of ‘truth’-sayers.

2 : The Sustainment of Stability:
The Proles need to have body & spiritual needs other met also.
a) Give us this day our daily KFC etc
b) As/ above:
‘Are you going to THE MATCH ? / Did you go to THE MATCH ? / Did you see THE MATCH ? /
Wot did you think of THE MATCH ? / . . . . . .’
(That’s enough Lord Chancellor.                                                                                                           Yer cheque and yer    fuckin’  Watney’s  fuckin’  Red  fuckin’  Barrel    is in the post.    Ed)
or
For the less adventurous:
‘Did you see THE MATCH on telly ?’

For further immediate – See above

*And do I hear you say:
‘And not just the lower orders of such’ ??????
** And do I not hear you say:
‘Therefore they deserve all they get’ ??????

Further Pts
(For our legal eagle readers : Further to the 1st Pt etc)
to follow.

Your Social Structure Correspondent:
The Great CAD Monkey.

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  A DECLARATION GENERALLE:

ODA  supports Parliamentary democracy and the rule of law handed down from there
(Well the theory anyway – The practice as is, is what has put ODA into being).

ODA  supports the  Parliamentary Second House  principle and the modifying of draft laws there
(Well the theory anyway  –  The practice as is,  is what has put ODA into being)

ODA  supports The Crown
(Well the theory of benign overview anyway.                                                                                     The practice as is  –  Is at least partially,  as/ above)

ODA  is totally opposed to ‘terrorism’ as it is commonly understood today in relation to
violent acts.

ODA  is totally opposed to violence except in self defence.
(Therein lies a debate as to what is such + Who started the poo particular in the first place  –    See Next)

ODA  is totally dedicated to finding-out who caused the shit in the first place,
and the publication of such findings.

ODA ALSO,
DOES NOT:
‘Do’  ‘political correctness’  in language.
The expression is considered MOST STRONGLY to be

An oxymoron / an anathema  in itself that mists clear vision and chokes free thought by strangling the reasoning paths usual and in end result kills the credulity of argument.

NB.
If you didn’t manage to glean that from the above we sincerely recommend
you give-up with us here and go away now.
ODA After-care Service:
ODA recommends for your comfort and convenience you direct and (re)attach yourself to:
Farcebook and Twattering and Your One-Eyed Babysitter
and your Watneys Red Barrel at the club while watching the match – etc.

It is considered by ODA to be the modern version of the Heresy Laws of yore
which they, the modern version, give the current revolving door series of lookalike political regimes,  who gain Parliamentary power by the issue of false promises of manifesto.
All consistently tending towards totalitarianism.
It gives a simple, robust ‘AK47’ type tool to be handed down to their operatives of state machine for use in all situations they, the operatives, see fit.
Those operatives knowing full-well that ‘their backs will be covered’ by their line managers above, and the managers likewise, all through to the top of their little pile particular.
Indeed, the vast majority of such bods are at large *incapable of discernment,
and are known for wanting to keep their heads down to the scrutiny of above,
pulling their beer-vouchers on a regular basis,
and serving their self-serving time-out to early retirement.
The ones of full integrity which can’t reconcile themselves to serve under such regimes,
jack ASAP – IF/ when they can.
To the ones of integrity who can’t get out because of, (usually), personal financial constraints:
We extend our sympathy.
*ODA holds : They are most probably chosen for such.
Further below.

Indeed it is the main spur to the foundation of ODA.

Further:
As/ above, as such operatives* are mostly of a type not capable of exercising judgement for situation particular,
(and thought most probably selected for being such),
it is to be expected that once issued with their freedom to commit what they want, with full state backing, they will.
aka ‘Give cowboys guns – They’ll let them off’
(That writ with full and most sincere apologies (sic) to cowboys proper.
However, that said you do have Hollywood to thank for that standing sleight of Brit slang !)
This is further enhanced  (thought co-engineered)  by the tick-box culture current,
the target culture including the use of incentives to spur operatives to attain target,
and the removal of pathways and support for the persecuted to seek redress from open court**.

The whole is running in parallel/mirroring The Roman Catholic Church Empire + Nazi Germany + Eastern European Regimes of more recent times (use of Stazi etc)

*  aka, to us,  Untergroppenuberfiddelstrassefuhrengemeinschaft etc                                                                    (GmbH / Nearest Imperial Equivalent)

*  Hey-Ho – Such is the level of such persons

*  Look on the bright side – At least we know where they all are

**  Fear not so much Gentlefolk:  The Open Forum of You Tube  is with us, and the means to video evidence the persecutors actions is improving apace.

ie  As/ above, at least now, we know we are getting to the stage where we can prove where they are and what they’re doing.

A PARADOX, A PARADOX, A GREAT BIG BLOODY PARADOX:

The suppression of this growing tendency of ‘Joe Public’ to provide evidence of what is what when events concern themselves
(especially when the events concern ye regime ops)
v/v
The regime ops eagerness to attain evidence of same type concerning others, but forbidding others from taking evidence same, (have I already said that ?!),
is a two edged sword which The State wealds but cannot reconcile within themselves whilst attempting to maintain free and open opportunity to gathering of evidence.
In short, The State, and their ops, have taken to video like ducks to water but wish to have total control on the recording of events and therefore on what is emitted as ‘truth’.
The like use of video by others they would dearly like to make verboten but can’t find the necessary form of words Parliamentary + Lobby Fodder to do it !    🙂
[ YET !    🙁    Ed. ]
Further:
Various subterfuges are used by the apparatchik ops to suppress the taking of video evidence of their activities
eg Having a child with them whilst ‘at it’ so should their target victim attempt to take video evidence they could then hide behind a charge of photographing kids !
(Laugh not  –  It’s been seen done by us  –  Twice by Ed !)
(See ‘Anals of The Ways & Means Committees’ Page – To be started shortly)

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  THE OPENING FOUNDATION RANT PROPER:

ODA  :  Born of sense a natural distinctive instinct for/of:
What is what.

That most people don’t want to know anything other than their own estate,
friends and families,  (formal or informal),  and their hobbies.

That most people have and continue to be, by at least their above myopic view, exploited.

That most people due their work load which is needed to sustain themselves, estate and family,
have had no option but to adopt the above semi/closed view.

That most people just want a sanitary space in which to conduct their lives,
and are quite willing to pay into a general pot for that,
but don’t want to pay for anything else and especially the machinations of an out of control state machine.

That Ye State SHOULD BE there to serve those who pay for it by their labour
and isn’t there to perpetuate itself for its own sake
and/or
go off on little adventures of its own*  ie Without Parliamentary sanction.

That organisations attract those who use organisations for their own purposes
and do not further the purported aims and objectives of the organisation.

That smoke and mirrors, obfuscation and omission of full fact, straight forward ‘blocking’
(aka ‘stonewalling’), lies, damn lies, planned obsolescence, and ‘bought men’,
destruction and alteration of files and evidence other,
(and a few others – this is a short rant),
are the primary working tools of corrupted organisations,
and are, from current observation and by historical analysis,
the time honoured methods used to carry The Ships of State,
including their sub-contracted Privateers,
ever onward.

In short, the old adage that there are only two problems in the world:
Disorganisation and Organisation
holds as true today as when:

1 : IN TIMES ANCIENT:
An ancient Greek pronounced that if you don’t want to be ruled by ‘idiots’,
(in that time meaning what we would now call something akin to
‘an easily manipulated wanton prolish team player/puppet’),
then we all must engage in politics.

2 : IN TIMES MORE RECENT:
Winston Churchill** got the shits-up about ‘anarchism’ and set-up counter measures
culminating then (publicly) in ‘The Siege of Sydney Street’

SUB NOTES to THE SECTION ABOVE:
As ODA will probably consist, for a large part, of rolling philosophical rants as/above
+
Comments on aspects further and analysis of same,
with the same attention to tight categorisation and unwavering line of thought,
we here indulge ourselves in a couple of aspects to get the show started:
* An interesting little paradox:
In Brit Law, should anyone ‘go off on an adventure of their own’, and cause damages,
the The H&S Exec’ will prob’ wash their hands of them and prosecute,
when the damage is to others !
Q: Has Dear Tony Blair been told ?

** An interesting little consideration:
Who was who, and affiliated to whom, and what was their history prior to joining
Ye Anarchists of the late 19th/early 20th century cohort(s),
and MOST IMPORTANT, whatever happened to the remnants – ??????
Has never been fully explained.
ie The lack of a Year Book is understandable, (any resonances there dear reader ?),
but one must pose the above as standing query, with especial ref to the last part.
Evidenced and substantiated answers from the floor, in due course of course, please.
(We’re not yet up and running with the readers blog page,
so please continue your researches and hone your responses until we are)

+

A wild card to finish this part of the page on:

‘I never let school interfere with my education’
Mark Twain.

***************************************************************************

ODA  :  AIMS & OBJECTIVES V.I  (Don’t get too excited again by that if you’re German):
To mildly go, and search, and illustrate, and prove the instigating sources,
flavours and outlets of the universal, commonly received poo which is plopped on the populace general of this sceptic isle,  this stone set in a sea of  etc    (contd Page 95 : Ta Eye)

****************************************************************************

ODA  :  AIMS & OBJECTIVES V.I I:
To mildly go, and search, and illustrate, and prove the instigating sources,
flavours and outlets of the universal, commonly received poo which is perpetually sprinkled on the common innocent populace.

aka Proving the validity of the premise:

‘Common shite is generated by  and/or  allowed to happen by Ye State(s) in order to:

1 :  Suppress their population particular at large* (but not their chosen ones) and render them, ye PPAL*,
into a fully conditioned manipulative state (if you’ll forgive the expression that is)

2 :  Expand and Justify its own bloated existence

3 :  Follow its own instinctive base instinct to render all to totalitarianism’

Stopping there for now,  I can see Mr Churchill coming up the path with a big bang-stick.

So – That’s enough for now, I’m going for a wee and a nice cup of tea
Consider this just Draft Current,
it’ll be updated periodically but the basic premises as outlined won’t be altered much beyond further expansion, illustration and explanation.
Nicht Forgessen:
JOINED-UP GOVERNMENT  =  JOINED-UP RESPONSIBILITY.
Yours though der mist, ja wohl,
Old :        The Ed.

* I think we have our second acronym beyond ODA itself + GPGP:

‘PPAL’  –  Population Particular At Large
And to think we did it all ourselves and didn’t get it from AAU**  –  Ahhhhhh

** Before you ask – AcronymsAreUs.something

****************************************************************************

Have we done Switzerland yet ?
Ed.
Come on Dear, calm down and have your cocoa.
Mrs Ed.

****************************************************************************

THE CRITICS WRITE:
Taking over from where The Manchester Guardian left off.
G. K. Chesterton.

A serious rival to The Lady.
Debs
Duchess of Gorton

They won’t bring back Punch now.
Hislop I.    Hr 6th
(17 2/3)

Their canteen chips were fuckin’ reet.
Michael Winner.

WOT LE FUCKIN ELL DER YER FUCKIN CALL THAT  ? ? ?
Academe Francais

A lesson to us all.
And so onto our next hymn, No 101 in your CofE Hymnal:
‘Oh God Our Help In Ages Past’
The Rt Rev Up  (Ms)

PMSL
Elizabeth R.    (bi txt)

Our Main Sponsor,  Odd G., writes:
Seen it all before Old Boy.

It all goes through the same 4 stage mill of evolution :

1 : Deterioration to Chaos:
A non-accountable and out of control political elite shielded from reality by a bubble of self-serving apparatchiks
serving their time out without fulfilling purpose of post appointed to, and/or off on their own escapades,
and/or deviated from original designated purpose by those controlling them.

2 : Retribution:
The proles kicking-off good style
‘Cos no bugger’s taken any notice of them and rode more heavily than usual and bearable on their backs thus ‘boxing them into the corner’.

3 : Reconciliation:
Some poor bugger attempting to knock it all back to something like ‘centre’
AND THEN KEEP IT IN BALANCE.

4 : Deterioration to Loss of Purpose:
The nasties/ assorted slimys get back in and exploit what’s then been built  .  . . . . . ……
Then the cycle is started again,  and so it’s  . . . . . .  Back –> 1

Our humble analysis:

Everyone we know,  (and that’s a few),  expresses the whimsical:

‘A benign dictatorship with a kindly Fuhrer who is long seeing and could post goals of sense that are commonly agreed,
is independent both morally and financially and doesn’t care for further accumulation for self other than to stay in place,
would be a lovely way to carry-on.’

Readers Write:
So do I, wouldn’t it be nice,   .  .  . . . ……  but hang on a bit   .  . . . ……
Well you’ve had a  Royal Prime Establishment  in UK forever   .  .  . . . ………….                            Well, look what they’ve let happen !

Bill O’Frights.    +    Bill O’Blogations.

Whichever way you argue it,  when you drill down it’ll all finish up at:

1:    Why ‘you’ are attempting to run a country in the first place ?
(ie  For the benefit of the greater populace particular)
v/v
Just throwing the boarders open to all ?

The resulting chaos engineered by lack of balanced rule,  manifests in flavours various.
In no particular order proper:

The current done by:
The allowing/ engineering of mass immigration,  and the involvement in never-ending relatively low-level but expensive warring,  and the growing of over-indulgent public welfare unemployment payments,  and the growing under-indulgence in public heath provisions,  and the never-ending under-spending on public works interspersed with short bursts of total over-spending,  and the sale of national assets,
and quite a few more but that’ll do for this piece.

The past done by:
Near hyper inflation,  and by organised  wars major,  and by inadequate public health provisions,  and by lack of public unemployment support,  and the never-ending under-spending on public works interspersed with short bursts of total over-spending,
and by quite a few more but that’ll do for this piece.

All of which was and is,  engineered by  shadow / sketch framework governments
who view the then ensuing results to be more observed than supervised.
Those governments who were and are we feel, such that they see their only raison d’etre is to displace any usurper.
ie  To exist to self perpetuate Self.
<TBC>

2 : *Quis custodiet ipsos custodes ?
If you found and maintain an enclosed country – It always bloody does.
[*Any scholars in the house ?
Me Latin’s got rusty these days –
I’ll take an alt V if anybody’s got a better one,
really must check it against me primer some time]

3. You haven’t mentioned plebiscites as a matter of procedure – yet.
Your Ed is banging the drum for the well known Der Sweiss +
but he’d be advancing his cause if he extended it to THE AUSSIES –
Attending a voting station is compulsory there.  Voting is not.

Oh well, good luck with ODA and the site and don’t forget me T-Shirt.
If I’m out,  The GPO,  or whatever they’re calling themselves this week,
can always drop it next door with Old Nick.

Going bo-bo’s now,
BIG X.   Night night.
Jimmy God.

* Should we get beyond the  Description of What Is  –  Phases  Other:

Phase II  :  The Methodologies : Of Proving The Assertion of The Observation
(aka Evidencing)
Phase III  :  The Substantiation : The Consolidation of Argument + Evidence
Phase IV  :  Ye Proscription : Telling every bugger you really are superior
+/ incl
The usual forming a  Political ‘Firm’
in order to happy-slap the other buggers into submission.
Will we really deteriorate that far
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Well, that, not really to our taste but if it is to be done by others,
then one founded on discourse using correct language,
that to be the foundation of manifesto.
Phase V  :  ? ? ? ? ? ?

****************************************************************************

So,  bet that lot’s woke you lot up got you thinkin’  !  🙂
Just waiting for The Establishment Club,  (with full apols to Cook P.),  back-lash  . . . …
It’ll be  ‘Shoot The Messenger’  /  ‘Play The Man NOT The Ball’  type +                                                                                                                                                                   Sundry Smoke & Mirrors  –  All as/ practice usual.

Whoops ! – Oh bloody ‘ell,  must be gerrin’ late + There we go now with bloody football analogies
😐
Best stop there, drink me cocoa and bury me-self in  Lobster #
and
Project Camelot #
for some info proper before I do another.
😐    Grumpy Ed.    😐

# BOOK II stuff !

+ + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + + +

THE SUB-NOTES STANDING

TO BE STD & USUAL TO THE PAGES FILLED TO OVERFLOWING WITH  ILLUMINATING TOMES OF WIT&WISDOM TO BE FOLLOWING BELOW

For Hoch Toch:   VERGESSEN SIE NICHT:
Fur der Platters:  UND NICHT VORGESSEN:
IF NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS,
HOW COME THE BASTARDS KEEP MANUFACTURING IT ?

JOINED-UP GOVERNMENT    =    JOINED-UP RESPONSIBILITY

Oportet Operam Dore
However,  me thinks,  it just depends what you’re working at.
😐
Old :    The Ed.

And, ODA, supports, the Oxford,.

+
! HELP ! – THEY’VE GOT OUR DNA !

!  STOP PRESS  !
An Inverse But Still Tasteful Marketing Promotion:
THE MERCHANDISE SHOP IS SHUT:
🙁

CLOSED FOR RE-FURB’ UNTIL
AUTUMN 2013  (Rev 1)
SEE THE NEARLY HEAD OF PAGE NOTICES ABOVE  !

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

!  BUY ODA T-SHIRTS WHEN WE RE-OPEN
(YOU BASTARDS)   !
Or the girl gets it !
(I wish – PLEASE don’t tell Mrs Ed)

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DON’T FORGET:
Dressing well and looking good are essential.
A purpose in life is not.

Pinched from:    Dear Oscar (who else ?)

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COMING SOON SOMETIME  (!)

POST TAB RESPONSE FACILITY TO ALL ON ODA SITE
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>  THIS PAGE  :  Make-Up  :  A collection of pieces various without structured listing  <

>  THIS PAGE  :  Last Update Proper Loaded  :  PM Tuesday  24-December-2013.  <
>  THIS PAGE  :  Latest Draft to Above  :  AM Thursday  26-December-2013.  <

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All times noted to writings to    >Railway Time=London Greenwich<   * PROPER.
None of that funny foreign  ‘Eastern Seaboard Time’  etc
(Which they use in Great Yarmouth)
or even any of that UDT.
(Lark wot owr milkman ‘as)

* GMT.  +  When in season, easy-read BST.
(Which surprisingly contains no added E-Numbers, hydrogenated oils or salt
and is thought to be non-fattening and harmless to animals)
May Might Does not contain nuts.
(Noted for the sake of any passing plebs who may might be considering it
for referral to their social worker as grounds for their next claim)

+

ODA  :  A H&S Notice

Although all care has been taken in the production of our organ (Ta Eye),  for your safety,
and that of your family and community*  you are to be aware that it
May,  Might,  Possibly,  Probably,  Fair Chance,
From assessment of the median range of the spectrum of known variables usual,
Distinct possibility,  Straight Odds,  In the balance of things,  When evenly assessed,
Taking an objective unbiased view,  I’ve put a few bob on it,
I’ll bare me arse in Burton’s window if I’m wrong,
it could just contain nuts.

Sod-It.
JUST EAT FUCKING NUTS WILL YOU ?

*A HMG compulsory word:
To be espoused in all utterances even if you haven’t got a family (or yourself)
and hate every twat.

~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~    ~

!  STOP PRESS  !

THE LITTLE LEXICON + PHRASE BOOK

of  HMG‘s*  FINEST FINEST UTTERANCES:

THE  APPATHESAURUS / DIKTATS DICTIONARY  PAGE

THE DUBIOUS, USUALLY QUASI LEGALESE, OF APPARATCHIK EMISSION:
FASHIONABLE TRIGGER-WORDS & FUZZY PHRASES
& IFFY EUPHEMISMS:

THE ODA TOP FORTY CHOICE IS HERE BELOW
(Well, almost at the mo !)

( *NB.  + Other Spivs Various ! )

The Current Favourites:

Numero One:
Every Group Psychotics’ favourite:
‘COMMUNITY‘

Continues to hold the top spot without serious challenge to date.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 2:
The long-time, much played  ‘ACTUALLY’
has now been replaced redacted by
‘REDACTED‘

(actually)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

At No 3:
The, usually bumptious, pronouncers of ill defined and mostly assumed authority
long time favourite,  widely used when issuing any
ill defined and unsubstantiated opinion issued as the definitive
on anything they see fit to pass judgement on:
‘APPROPRIATE‘
/
It’s more usual use in the negative:
‘INAPPROPRIATE‘

Sit happily in their appropriate place near the top of the award winning pack,
(Actually)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Down to No 4:
Your award winning long time favourite
‘AWARD WINNING‘

Still stays winning awards near the top of the award winning pack,
(Actually).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 5:
‘ACTUALLY‘

Is still actually up there actually with the actual best and is actually now actually holding it’s actual position.
We can’t actually blame this one on the actual Appys per se
as there’s actually no actual evidence for actually actually being
actually started or particularly actually propagated by them alone.
*Actually, actually actually* is more of a universal malaise to the many,
Appy’s and Proles alike and it is actually used by all:
exploiters, [the actually aware(!)], and sufferers, (the auto’ habitual repeaters), alike
Appy/Prole, to emphasise and reinforce a statement of usually opinion
presented as a fact without evidence,
actually without thought being given even by the exploiters on most occasions.
As actually has actually been readily taken-up and assimilated by the Proles,
and therefore if used by the Appys the cognitive do-da  can easily be established
with the target audience also habitually using it,
but not actually usually cog’ of wot their actually doing,
(ie  ‘Victim, let’s both actually talk the same language’ etc),
the Appy’s, wittingly/ not,  have quite happily taken it up as part of their lexicon,
(actually !)

*H&S*:  Don’t think about that one too much, it actually scans !

A Footnote:
Well is actually actually a word proper ?
No matter,  who actually cares ?
When passed for fit for use by HM’s Finest by the Grand Spiv Council,
it no doubt, was actually award winning.
😐

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 6:
‘CARING‘

Making a welcome come-back as:

‘Them’s that don’t really give a shit about anything but getting their formulaic words out and ticking their allocated/ pre-ordained tick-boxes of random suitability for situation particular of day’

long-time favourite.

😐

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 7:
‘AVOID‘ for ‘EVADE‘    (and on occasion, v/v)

That which the confusing (APPARATCHIK) confusers
continue to confuse the confused proles at large
with that neatest of straightforward  one-for-one  substitutes
(AWARD WINNING)

WIP.  :  TBC.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Coming back in at No 8:
‘NOT/ UN HELPFUL‘

The Appy’s slippery way usual of saying you disagree with them.
The validity of your argument is irrelevant as it appears it has contradicted that laid down for the now unhappy Appy.
Implications:
You are disruptive to their tick-up box schedule and are therefore never to be considered as of their club.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 9:
‘VICTIM‘

Don’t bother considering yourself one as you’ve read this.
We’ve got nowt and aren’t worth suing
but
it will give you another whinge lever with your social worker
(It’s simply another freebie – No charge – Actually)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Middle for The First Twenty Diddled – The 1/4 Mean Spot
At No 10:
‘STAND BY YOUR MAN‘

Following David (Tammy) Milliwatt’s withering effort,
a re-issue of this old whining whinge by Nick (Tammy) Clegg

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The re-issued oldie at No 11:
‘APPARATCHIK‘
(Re-issued on the ODA Label in August 2011)

Is making a stuttering come-back from the distant land of history
(Where they did everything different  etc)
Sung in low tones by the elder classical educated,
it is to be heard whistled with increasing regularity in diverse places, even occasionally on the UK mainstream ‘media’.
(Ta Our Dogs Arse)  (NB.  Just does NOT accept awards.  ie Cannot be bought)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 12:
‘WE NEED‘

The perennial favourite of the put-up case-makers shifty
is staying the course in the Top 20 and is thought likely to remain there in perpetuity.
An attempt to get the listener to enjoin in  ‘a sympathy of like party’ with the speaker
by assuming their lack of native judgement will not make differentiation
between their two parties
by  making emphasis on the  ‘WE’.
Pronounced always as an emphatic statement of established
(if you’ll forgive the expression that is)
fact.
Usually said without any presentation of supportive objective facts
and seldom with any from a  truly independent source.
[ NB.  For the punch-drunk, ‘phased’, downtrodden masses:
‘Independent’  does mean  NOT dependent ! ]
ie  In short:
It’s a way of sliding in an opinion disguised as a fact
in order to get it supported and established
(Whoops, there we go again !)
by seeking to engage the listener as a joint co-party.
It succinctly illustrates the nub slant of spiv-pitch usual of the apparatchiks
(and a lot of private business)

Adjunct:
On a chance incidental perusal of the above,
our ‘Indie’ Music Critic writes:
I suppose you could do an apt song about it all,
Say something on the lines of
‘Wonna Be In My Gang ?’  /  similar
G. Litter.  (rtd)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

At a fixed spot of unlucky for everyone except The Select, at  No 13:
‘THE PRESIDENT‘

Possibly the most assiduously insidious and evil of the lot.
(That with absolutely no weighting whatsoever being given to the incumbent of the day to said post:
Ava Banana of today  /  Other of tomorrow/past)
A sleight of gob of  ‘assumptive closing’  of par excellence
aimed at indoctrinating the world outside The USA
with the notion that there is only ever is one president,  that of The USA.
and therefore by the assumptive implication of being pronounce as THE only President,
of The World.
(Neat eh ?)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Down to No 14:
‘DATA‘

Said oft,  by many,  to many,  with the pronouncers usually having not the faintest
fuckin’ idea of wot the fuckin fuck they’re fuckin’ gobbing-on about.
Used as general support crutch and liberally sprinkled as no bugger usually challenges the pronouncer on it,
as few have the time to audit said data to establish the validity of the numbers cited and if they be of substance (hopefully !) in themselves
AND
if their assembly mode be fit for application to the prime subject of point.
(Now we’re moving onto considerations other,
so best stop here or there won’t be enough space left on the website for any other !)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

In at No 15:
‘ADAPT‘

Managerial comment of instruction to disregard something.
ie  Turn a blind eye or our sacked and blacklisted.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 16:
‘GOING/BEEN  ON A JOURNEY  WITH THAT/THIS ONE‘

WIP  with this,  but wot fun to come.  🙂
However,  just to make an initial ob’ pro tem,
it’s usually trotted-out on the occasion of the
‘caught with the pants down’ scenario:
ie  ‘We’ve dropped a bollock/ been found-out good and proper
so best say something plastic to fudge it all up good and proper for now
and let’s hope they’ll piss-off and focus somewhere else in the mean time
to avoid the expected coming waffle of our reports’
etc.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 17:
‘TEAM PLAYER‘

An easily manipulated puppet.
WIP really  –  To be expanded when we have the time and inclination,
but it’ll only be an exercise of how many angels we can get on the pin head.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 18:
to  ‘PROGRESS‘  something.

Just learn the fucking language will you ?
(ie  Nowns  + Verbs + Adjectives and structure and all that)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 19:
‘PRIORITISE‘

As/ above, AND, don’t start making fucking words up.
You’re not that good.
Just learn the fucking language as set out by Oxford and the rest of academia will you ?
When you get so adept such that can spell your own name right thrice in a row,
THEN we’ll consider letting you play about with your pencil.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Mid of The Shop @ No 20:

‘THE  MEDIA‘

Known and suffered by all but the emitters !

A Perspective:
Oft said without the realisation of the obvious:
Whose/wotever message is being emitted will have it massaged to Ye MEDIA Masters order !

Put other:
It doesn’t matter who is playing whose tune,
whoever owns the trumpet and is conducting,
ie  Calls  the parts of the piece,  the volume,  and tone,  and venue,  and time  of the playing
+
engages an accompanying band(s) to drown out the main theme if thought needed (!),
controls the show.

( Wonder just how this one escaped from the lab’  ? ! ? ! ? ! )

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 21:
(to) ‘PRECEPT’

WOT THE FUCKING FUCK’S THIS ALL ABOUT CLAUD  ?  ! ! ! ! ! !
ie  The word used as a verb (!)
By issue in context gleaned we think they mean  training prior to deployment
(We think  :  ? ? ? ? ? ? ! ! ! ! ! !)
Source:    Ye Glorious NHS Appy’s of Ye Glorious ‘111’ Telephone Help Service.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 22:
‘IMPACTED’

WOT ?!
We think they mean ‘affected’
Again, can’t be sure of the provenance of this one, but sounds like a bit if Yankeese that’s been lifted by our glorious lot of Appys.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 23:
‘LITERALLY’

WOT ?!
Who the fuck wrote that first ?!
Now it’s been used and abused by so many, so widely
that it’s said (no pun) to have crept into the dictionary !  OED ?!
Eee bah gum, it’s put uz all at sea, littorally !
😐
Again, can’t be sure of the provenance of this one, but sniffs strongly (very) of Appyeese

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 24:
‘NOT HELPFUL’

WOT ?!
Trotted out by Appys whenever someone doesn’t agree with them.
A really beautiful bit of kit :
The inference contained in these two short words is that who ever it is being directed at is at fault  and  the issuer is in an authenticated position to issue judgement on them.
It totally ignores the natural adversarial and contentious nature of normal discussion natural, as disagreement is inevitable within that.
Should the situation be of legal nature,  it is still used by the Appys without heed to situation.
Provenance:
We think this one is one of the Great Grandad Appys from true Kafka-land of the old Eastern Europe  and was happily grabbed by the western Appy’s as a universal tool.
As/ above, it is certainly one of their favourites, if not THE favourite, and is very widely used whenever someone doesn’t agree with them.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 25:
‘ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR WILL NOT BE TOLERATED’

A favourite fall-back position of threat used when whoever is disagreeing with them won’t give up, AND/OR they’re about to lose the argument and are about to call ‘Security’.
See  ‘Not Helpful’  above.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 26:
‘I DON’T UNDERSTAND’

Which engenders the usual reaction when you’ve proffered the bloody obvious to the Appy:
And quite  WOT  the fuckin’ fuck do you not have comprehension of  /  similar ?!
(To be polite)

ie
Put other:  You don’t understand that which is so widely known,  so blatantly apparent and easily grasped that a deaf, dumb and blind 2 year old in a double sealed sack would recognise it instantly !
There are two applications of this tool, often in conjunction:
1:  A universal blocker and get-out.
Use by Appys when:
a)  They’re in ‘default setting’ and can’t be bottomed to do anything at all and just want to shift the prob’ away from themselves.
b)  They don’t want to continue as they can see themselves  in a corner / in the poo  if they do.
2:  A universal wind-up.
Use by Appys when:
They just want to take the piss and play with their victims by challenging their common sense.
Persistent playing this one can quite easily bring a victim to the boil and thus ‘calling for security’:
Game, set and match !
AND
It’s simply lovely entertainment for their admirers in the office and one more up on the office score card for the blocker.
If you’re power pissed and have time on your hands,
this is even better than putting telephone enquirers dialling-in through top-rate 0845 numbers on hold for ever.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 27:
‘RE-TRAINING’
(‘We shall ensure that our Operative(s) are sent for’)

Trotted out whenever the one/ more of the unter, (and at times some of der ubber), -Appys have been caught out.
Unusually this one usually really means wot it sez fir a change:
Whoever has been shown to having been caught-out will be re-trained in
further bullshit tools/ techniques in order to divert/ suppress future incursions by complainants.
Occasionally, when it is thought politique to have change of face(s) after big do-do has been found,
it is used to mask move of the exposed one(s) to other posts
or
on very obscure occasions when they are found to be too embarrassing to have hanging around
for reasons of really deep sin found
and/or
they have now exposed themselves as total no-hopers who will never be able to pick-up the approved mantras,
to flirt them (usually at the next revolving door).

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 28:
‘DANGEROUS’

Self-evident one-word warning of universal usage to note-up dodgy situations:
Within / Without  Appyworld.
That said, the application by Appy’s is usually to the:
a)  Identifying of someone who will retaliate and knows how to do it properly.
b)  Warning another of potential probs coming if the Appy so warned
pursues a particular course of action  (as/ universal above),  but more particularly
in case when a previous position which has been adopted by either the issuer of warning or a third Appy and the course of action by the warned will interrupt that position.
In short, the note to the one warned is usually cloaked instruction forbidding them to
go down their proposed path so their actions would not jeopardise the perceived integrity
of that pre-set position of speaker/other.
Put other,  nicely and politely:
‘Don’t do that Claud(ette),  you’ll rock the boat’

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No 29:
‘FACILITATE’

We can feel the last of the brain cells popping with this one.
An Appy old stock-in-trade expression.
A poncy way of saying the prole clumsy expression:
‘let/make happen’
Much loved also by the advertising, ‘the media’ and other spivvy worlds.
Well there’s the stamp of authenticity and recommendation of fit for situation if there ever was.

*  *  *

WIP  :  < TBC >

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

NB.  Don’t forget; as/ above:

SEE ALSO  THE  APPATHESAURUS / DIKTATS DICTIONARY  PAGE

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A closing Q  ref the above Top 40 + The above Page:

A    🙂 ‘y      or a      🙁 ‘y

?

You decide.    We can not.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Finally for this page, an Enlightenment of  Wednesday  04-September-2013
that we think is so good and succinct, we deem it fit for at least a semi-permanent post
here at the base of The Wom Page as illustration of the raison d’etre of ODA:
Ye ODA Precepts and Concepts and Edicts and Principles and etcs

So to ye script . . . ……

‘Think I’ve gone round the twist proper.
I’ve been mixing with some very dubious people of low morals and absolutely no scruples.
It’s inevitably rubbed off, causing me to corner and rant and shout at other people outside my new gang in a mixture of gang jargon and total gobbledegook then taking the poor victims money (and as much as I fancy when I want too), then totally ignoring any of their wishes and giving them nothing in return but spending it all on my gang and their hobbies and yet other people who have nothing to do with the people I’ve ripped-off, a lot of them from far away places with strange sounding names.
I do know the reason I do it.
It’s complete fear of those I’ve ripped because to be quite frank, they’re the opposite of me and the rest of my new gang.
They spend their lives working hard, mostly in the production of things which don’t last so they’ll quickly need to make more, some in making sure the useless are kept being useless, and some of them take part as disposable pawns in our gangs favourite hobby of life reassignment (some people call it war but we think that is a bit flash) and other dangerous things.
The thought of them stopping and considering their plight of feeding me and my gang with their money is really frightening, so me and the rest of me new mates keep them at it by taking more money off them so they need to keep turning-up to earn more, and so on.
My psychiatrist has diagnosed ‘Politicianitus’
There is no cure.’
🙁

* * * * * *

A repeat of that near head of page:

ref  DAILY + WEEKLY COPY USUAL:

Yet Another Change of Publishing Format & Procedure:

NOTICE

As/ previous whinges many, due to illness (ahhhhhh we hear yet again from the masses)
we’ve largely suspended the regulars proper to the separate publication pages of:
The Daily Asspect  +  The Daily Enlightenment  +  The Weekly Look-Back
We then précised/ metamorphosed wot would have been full copy to
The Daily Asspect + Ye Daily Enlightenment + Weekly Look-Back
into Organi’s view of the world  :  The Fourth Eye  on this page.

The daily script now put to and available as a Daily Post / ‘Blog’

Gerra Subscription ! NOW ! and get it auto-sent straight to your E-Mail box
! IT’S FREE !

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